Write paragraphs clearer.


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Posted by Bach Hung Nguyen on October 26, 19101 at 19:30:02:

In Reply to: Topic 9 posted by Yuka Hata on October 26, 19101 at 06:36:21:

A few suggestions

a busiest city in Japan ; "the busiest city in Japan"

You should review this sentence
"I grew up surrounded by crowds and tall buildings."

In parallel structure:
"playing arcade games, shopping and watching movies so on"
It could be better if you write:
"playing arcade games, shopping, watching movies, and so on"

In the last sentence:
"to live in happily"
change:
to live in happiness (because happiness is Noun; happily: adv)


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